Not literally, but sometimes – No Moms Allowed – is a great rule so a father can have time to connect and enjoy fatherhood.
This weekend was my first venture into “No Moms Allowed” land. However, it was not really planned as a reason for me to be with the boys alone, it was planned as a break for my spouse.
For the past 2 years, my wife has been a F/T mom, on call 24/7 and a F/T wife to a pain in the butt husband – yours truly.
So an opportunity came up for her to visit her best friend for a weekend – in Canada. So I was all like, “sure babe, go, have fun, you deserve a break” – that was about two months ago.
Ominously, the date was approaching, and all of a sudden the reality of the situation started to crystalize:
With my 2 yr old and 13 month old.
WHAT AM I CRAZY?… calm down…take a breath… you can do this.
I realized in that moment that I have never really been alone with my two munchkins for more than an afternoon out. Maybe a morning, or “watching” them as they slept. In various ways, I have spent an entire day with them, but never without my spouse returning at some point in the day. This was the real deal.
In the end, what I was fearing the most in this weekend alone was failing. After spending some time praying, I mentally prepared for this weekends challenge.
The key to success would be actively loving my children, more than myself. Unselfishness.
Tomorrow my wife returns, and I have to say that these little two and a half days of just me and them have been awesome. Playing with them, drawing with them, going for walks, to the park, stores and making playdates with other dads – has been awesome.
I know I can’t do this everyday because I have a job and a family to support. However, after experiencing this I have way more confidence telling my wife that I want to have a “No Moms Allowed Weekend” with the boys.
All my fears were unfounded. I can love, I can care about, think about and plan the day with my boys. The biggest thing was knowing that my plans, had to become their plans and whatever we did was for us all to enjoy. There was no time for “me” when I am with my boys – that was hard at first – but worth every second afterwards.
Ultimately, any hiccup that came along was met with love. Love was the key ingredient to making this an awesome weekend. In closing however, I would be remiss to not point out that my wife, and any spouse that stays home with the kids, has an amazing heart, and an amazing workload. I applaud the stay at home dads and moms that give and give everyday, then give to their spouse upon their return home from their “work”.
This weekend has left a few impressions on my heart that I will be sharing in the future, but ultimately, I want to do it again for so many reasons. If you haven’t been alone with your child(ren) take a sign out and give your spouse a break – you can do it and YOU will love it as much as your kids will.